• Jill@Apex

Smoldering Ashes



There is no life like I dreamed.

In fact, I don’t even see me.

The flames that once burned as fiery passion;

Now left in smoldering ashes. Neglect-- the fate signed to my name.

I look in the mirror and only see my shame.

Intoxicated by grief from the ambiguity.

Words, submerge salt in my wounds in perpetuity.


Swallow the chemicals to mask the desolation.

Meditation a growing aid to the isolation.

Thoughts racing. Heart pumping with adrenaline.

Deep breath. Wipe the tears. Stand again.


Look in the mirror and search to see,

Finally, my eyes staring back at me.

“What are you made of?” -- I ask myself, again.

Anxiety and depression don’t get to win.


My own fire still blazes fervently, inside,

Eradicate this shame that wasn’t mine to decide.

Despite, the smoldering ashes, singeing my mind;

My fate cannot be left behind.


Look in the mirror and search to see,

My destiny, staring back at me.

“What are you made of?” -- I ask myself, again.

‘Not good enough’ doesn’t get to win.


I have the power to ignite my own flame;

To erase the fate of shame signed to my name.

Invoking the strength to stand through all destruction,

The waves of life unmoving to my innate instruction.


There is a life like I dreamed.

The life that only I can see.

“What are you made of?” -- I ask myself, again.

Energy and Fire live under my skin.


There is a life like I dreamed.

Even if that life is only mine to see.

My own flames must burn with fiery passion,

If not, I will only be left with smoldering ashes.



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